


I Can’t Do This Without You

by Rose711



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 04:31:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4905541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose711/pseuds/Rose711
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An emergency leads Frankie back to Zach during one of their fallouts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I basically had this dream several weeks ago and couldn't get it out of my head so I decided to write it down after gaining even more inspiration from my fellow writers.
> 
> Also, suicide trigger warning.

Zach ran out of his house with just a mumble to his parents. He gave a half-hearted wave to Peyton who yelled goodbye while dribbling a basketball in their neighbor's driveway. He threw his bag in the back seat and climbed into the driver’s seat. After a deep breath to calm the annoyance he felt, he started his car and drove towards Miami.

It was mid April, two months since he moved back to Florida. Two months since he had a proper conversation with Frankie, his best friend and the love of his life. Two months since he felt anything resembling happiness. Two months since his world fell apart.

Zach thought about how he had been living in a daze for those two months, snapping at his parents and barely paying attention to his brother. He started to spend more time in Miami with Erik and Logan, which did admittingly help keep his mind occupied. But when he was alone, when the world was silent…

 _You’re going to have a good time this weekend_ , he tried to convince himself. He rolled down the windows and turned on the radio. But _Problem_ was on and he just couldn’t stand to hear Ari’s voice right now. He hit the button for the hip-hop station so hard and quick his finger bent back and a sharp pain radiated through his arm. But the pain felt good. He shook his head and listened to the radio as it changed songs. Changed to _One Man Can Change the World_. Zach groaned. What was the universe trying to do to him? Big Sean? Really? Nope, he was done. The radio was quickly turned off.

Zach tried to shut off his mind as well, but that was never really possible. He tried to distract himself by thinking about his plans for the coming months and the summer. But there weren’t any. He had a couple of events lined up but nothing he was overly excited about. He just needed to get to Miami and be around his friends. He sped up and before he knew it he was at Erik’s.

Zach threw his bag in the guest room and joined Logan and Erik in the living room to watch some TV. They planned to grab some pizza before heading to a couple clubs. This was their Thursday night routine, and Zach figured the following nights would consist of the same things.

Logan announced that they should probably head out and Zach slowly got up off the couch.

“Hey, man, try to have a good time tonight, okay?” Erik said in a soothing tone. His friends knew the gist of what was wrong and what had happened, and as much as they liked to party, Zach knew that they were doing a lot of this for him. A weak but genuine smile spread across his face.

“Yeah, I will. Let me just fix my hair real quick.”

Zach ran off to his bedroom and quickly looked in the mirror. He ran his hands through his hair a few times but stopped when his eye caught the reflection of his backpack. He walked over, opened the front pouch and took out a prescription bottle. He read the label and fiddled with the top. After a deep breath, he popped the lid and then popped three pills into his mouth, swallowing quickly. He threw the bottle back in the pouch where it collided with another. He stared at them, the bottle of his ADHD medication and the bottle of anti-depressants, which was now three pills lighter. He started taking his ADHD medication again regularly about six weeks ago. The anti-depressants, though, those were new.

When he got back from New York he was in such a bad place. He barely left his room and wouldn’t eat. When his parents or brother would try to talk or engage with him he shut them down, forcefully and rudely. After talking with AJ a couple weeks after his return to Florida, he decided to bite the bullet and visit a psychiatrist. After a couple of visits, Zach had a prescription in hand for anti-depressants. He filled it without telling his parents and kept the bottle hidden away. He looked at it often and brought it anywhere his ADHD medication went. But he never got up the courage to take any. He wasn’t sure what he was afraid of and he wasn’t sure what made him take them now. He wanted to have a good time, to be happy with his friends. That was probably it. He knew they wouldn’t work immediately, but he was hoping there would be some kind of placebo effect. It was worth a try.

Zach shook himself out of his thoughts, zippered the pouch and went to the kitchen where Logan and Erik were waiting.

The guys had a quick dinner before hitting the club. They danced and drank for hours. Girls seemed to be attracted to them like magnets. He liked the attention, but found himself downing drink after drink just to have an excuse to get away from them and go back to the bar where he would stare at Logan and Erik grinding on whatever girl was nearest to them.

“We should probably go,” Zach heard Logan say from what seemed like a thousand miles away. Zach was finally having fun dancing with a petite, curveless, blonde girl.

“Nah, I’m good. Ima think that Ima gonna stay for bit longer,” Zach slurred. He wasn’t just drunk, he was sloppy.

Logan looked at Erik and both men pulled Zach away from the girl without much of a fight. They made their way to the front door and once the cool night air hit Zach he felt gone. Although drunk themselves, Logan and Erik had to practically lift Zach into the cab and then into the apartment. Erik flopped Zach on his stomach in the guest bedroom while Logan brought in a glass of water for the nightstand. Zach was out like a light.


	2. Chapter 2

Frankie woke to his phone ringing. It was not even 8 a.m. yet, why was someone calling him this early? He reached over to the nightstand and took a peek at the screen without fully opening his eyes. He saw “Zach” across his phone, groaned and flipped over onto his side.

He hadn’t talked to Zach in almost two months and he didn’t want to start at 7:30 on a Friday morning. His heart was aching already and all he did was look at the kid's name in a delirious state of near-sleep. But his mind wouldn’t return to sleep and Frankie kept thinking about what he and Zach had, and ultimately what they threw away. Frankie had been absolutely heartbroken and threw himself into work the following weeks.

When his phone rang for the third time since the initial rejection he was filled with anger and annoyance. He grabbed the phone.

“What?!” He said with force. “Do you know what time it is? On a Friday morning? You really chose now to call after not speaking to me for 6 weeks?!”

“He won’t wake up!” The words were nearly incoherent and Frankie quickly realized that that wasn’t Zach’s voice. He brought the phone from his ear and looked at the screen. The call had come from Zach’s phone…

“Umm, who is this?” Frankie asked slowly but he was only met with silence. Actually, Frankie quickly realized, it wasn’t silent. He heard sirens and commotion in the background.

“He won’t wake up! He won’t…he…he,” the voice on the other ended yelled, tears and pain evident in his voice.

Concern washed over Frankie. This guy couldn’t be talking about Zach, right? But why would someone call him from Zach’s phone if it wasn’t about Zach? “Who is this?! Is Zach okay?”

“It’s Erik, Zach’s friend.” Erik was sobbing almost uncontrollably and his fear was evident.

“Erik? What’s wrong?!” Frankie was getting impatient and the concern was quickly turning to terror.

“I got up to go to the bathroom and I figured I would check on Zach; he had a lot to drink last night,” Erik was talking so quickly that Frankie had to pay rapt attention to him just to understand what he was saying. “But when I went in his room I knew something was wrong so I started shaking him to get him to wake up. But he wouldn’t wake up! He won’t wake up!”

Frankie’s head started spinning and his heart just about stopped. Tears filled his eyes as he spoke quickly, “What happened? Is he breathing? Where the fuck are you?” Frankie needed answers but all he heard was background noise. “Erik!”

“I don’t know what happened, but he is breathing,” Erik said as he took a deep breath to try and calm down. “We’re in an ambulance going to the hospital. He drank a lot last night, but not _that_ much.” Erik’s voice caught in his throat as he clearly tried to fight back tears but he kept talking about their night at the club and where things might have gone wrong.

Frankie, meanwhile, couldn’t fight back the tears as he listened to Erik ramble. He sat in his bed, his whole body trembling as thoughts raced through his mind. He couldn’t lose Zach.

Frankie tried to gain some composure. “Erik, you’re in Miami, right?”

“Yeah,” Erik answered with the most composure he had since the beginning of the conversation.

“I’m going to fly down there right now and I’ll be there in a few hours,” Frankie said as the tears continued to fall.

“You don’t have to do that, I know you’re busy,” Erik said but Frankie quickly cut him off.

“I have to, I need to, I…” Frankie’s voice cracked and the tears came uncontrollably.

Erik gave him the name of the hospital as Frankie rushed around his room throwing a few items in a bag. Then a thought occurred to him.

“Did you call his parents?” Frankie asked tentatively.

“Yeah, Logan is actually on the phone with them now, they’re on their way. It’s funny, after the ambulance came, our first thought was to call you.”

Frankie heart melted for a split second. As much as he didn’t always agree with Erik and Logan or “approve” of them, he had to admit they were good friends to Zach and he was glad they were there for him.

“Hey, thanks for calling. And call me if anything changes or if they tell you anything. Just put my number in your phone and call me.”

“Yeah,” Erik said sadly. “He’s going to be okay.” It sounded like a question.

“He’s going to be fine.” Frankie’s response didn’t sound like an answer, but another question.

He hung up the phone and started bawling. He slumped to the floor in a fetal position and thought about how he really didn’t know if the boy he loved would be alright. But he reminded himself that he couldn’t think like that, he had to get to the airport. He forced himself up and finished packing while calling a cab.

In the cab he booked a plane ticket to Miami; he would arrive there in just under four hours. He also called his mother who promised that she would talk to Doug and they would cancel anything he had planned for the next few days. He was so grateful to have the support system he did. He spent the rest of the cab ride staring out the window replaying his conversation with Erik and thinking about how he hadn't talked to Zach in almost two months.

He couldn’t lose his soulmate.


	3. Chapter 3

The second Frankie’s plane landed he turned his phone off airplane mode. He had a ridiculous number of notifications, per usual, but he bypassed them all to go to his texts. He figured the ones from an unknown number were Erik and quickly clicked on it. 

His heart raced as he began to read them. “The doctor says that he’ll be okay” one read, while another said “he’s not awake yet, but they think soon.” An astonishing feeling of relief washed over Frankie as he disembarked the plane and ran toward the taxi station. As Frankie jumped in the first taxi he saw, he got another text from Erik: “Call me when you can.”

“So he’s going to be okay?!” Frankie squealed through tears as Erik answered the phone. 

“They said he should be fine, but he still hasn’t woken up,” Erik stated, relief evident in his voice. “But Frankie, it wasn’t just alcohol poisoning…” 

“What do you mean?” Frankie asked confused. 

“Well, the doctors ran some tests and they said that there were a couple drugs also found in his system…”

Frankie quickly cut him off. “That doesn’t make sense! He doesn’t do drugs, other than smoke weed! Did you make him do something stupid?!”

“No! No. Not those kinds of drugs. Like prescription drugs. To try to help the doctors, Logan went back to the apartment and looked through Zach’s bag. He found his ADHD medicine… and some anti-depressants.”

“What?” Frankie asked quietly. 

“When Logan brought them back to the doctor they were able to tell that those were what was in his system.”

Frankie leaned back in the cab confused. Zach was taking anti-depressants? They hadn’t been in touch in two months, what else didn’t he know? He was crushed. Just then the cab pulled up to the hospital. 

“Erik, I’m here. Where exactly are you?”

Erik gave him directions to the room they were in. Frankie rounded a corner on the third floor, saw Erik in the hallway and hung up the phone. Although the two men had never met before, they embraced in a needy hug. Logan entered the hallway as the men parted, tears in their eyes. Logan and Frankie shook hands warmly. 

“Thank you,” Frankie nearly whispered. It was a thank you for calling him, keeping him in the loop and taking care of Zach. 

“Of course,” Erik said with a tired smile.

“So…” Frankie started.

“So," Erik continued the conversation they had been having on the phone, "the doctor said that there seemed to be a high amount of the anti-depressants in his system but the regular dosage of the ADHD medicine. He said those two medications mixed with the amount of alcohol Zach had knocked him out." 

“Basically, the doctor said that he overdosed,” Logan concluded.

Frankie processed the information, when Erik hesitantly started talking again. 

“Umm…the doctor asked how he had been acting, if he seemed…umm… if he would…” Erik didn’t finish the sentence and didn’t have to. 

“You don’t think he tried to…” Frankie started before taking a deep breath. “You don’t think he did it on purpose, do you?” 

“He’s been in a really bad place since you guys ended it. Like, really bad,” Erik said. 

“I want to say no, but I really don’t know,” Logan said sadly.

Terror once again filled Frankie. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He thought back to the Zach that was in New York with him. The Zach that surprised him at the stage door and danced with him in his apartment. The Zach that held him in his arms during his birthday and dragged him outside when it started to snow so they could catch snowflakes with their tongues. But this was the same Zach that was laying in the hospital bed and he needed to remember that. 

Frankie was quickly drawn from his thoughts when Zach’s parents entered the hallway. They greeted Frankie warmly and told the boys that they were going to grab some coffee and they should visit with Zach. 

The second Frankie walked into the room, Peyton’s arms were around his middle. Frankie wrapped him in the tightest hug. When they let go, Frankie’s eyes went to the bed. Zach looked so small, but peaceful. Erik led him over to the chair that was beside the bed, while Logan went to the other side next to Peyton. 

Frankie sat down and took Zach’s hand.

“Zachary Colin Rance, please wake up,” Frankie said tearfully. “I love you, baby. I love you so much.”

They stayed like that for several minutes as Frankie tried to make small talk with Peyton about school. Suddenly he felt his hand move and his eyes snapped to Zach’s face.

“Thank God!” Logan exclaimed as he hugged Peyton and Erik ran to find a doctor and call Zach’s parents.

Frankie stared at Zach with a smile on his face and misty eyes. “Hi, my love,” he said.

“Hi,” Zach said weakly as tears started streaming down Frankie’s face.

The doctor entered the room and did a quick examination of Zach. They talked about how he ended up in the hospital and some immediate next steps. After a few minutes, the doctor left the room with Peyton saying they would look for Zach’s parents and fill them in. 

“So you basically OD’d,” Erik said recounting the story again for Zach from his perspective. “Dude, we were so worried," Erik said before warily adding, "I hope it’s okay that I called Frankie.” 

Zach smiled softly at Frankie, “Yeah.” Frankie’s heart skipped a beat and a goofy smile appeared on his face. But that quickly faded when he realized that he needed to know the answer to a question. 

“Zach…did you mean to do it?” Frankie’s voice cracked as he spoke. Zach looked away from Frankie and stared at the wall. He looked frightened.

“Look at me, baby,” Frankie pleaded as he placed his hand on Zach’s chest. Zach stared at Frankie’s hand and then looked him in the eye.

“I don’t know,” Zach whispered, tears appearing on his cheeks. Frankie’s heart clenched and he grabbed Zach’s hands in his own. All he wanted to do was protect him.

“I’m here,” Frankie said, hoping he didn’t sound as scared as he was feeling. “We’re all here,” he added, looking around to Erik and Logan with a smile. Right now that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may continue this story as I continually run through it in my head. I just need the motivation to write it down.


End file.
